tired of writing in french tired of writing properly at all tired of thinking tired of trying tired of crying.

well as of today jackie and i are on a 3-week long “break”

my guess is that this break will turn into a permanent “break-up”

“i don’t know how i feel about you” “i don’t know if i really like you”

i’m surprised at how unemotional i was.

what i wanted: casual

what i got: something not-so-casual

what i want: fun, love —— TO BE CARED FOR

how i feel: strong like

how i think he feels (and i’m probably right): apathy/friend/sexual benefit

what he wants: not a relationship (it’s too restricting)

what i definitely definitely want: for him to make up his mind. but i don’t know if i’ll be there when he does.

gone gone gone

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